We are Designer of Our Life

i didn't write at all for long time, because of activity in work and all stuff made me forgot to do  one of my fovorite activity, that is writing. Life is so exhausting sometime, we can’t predict life what will happen in future, sometimes it stimulate your adrenaline when you are so exited and guessing what will happen next in the future. Sometimes life feel like passing so fast and sometime it is so slow. Sometimes it’s bright day, full of joy and happines and sometimes it is a sadness day, full of anxeity and stressfull. Now life really give a lesson to me, the moment after i got my Magister degree sertificat and work in a  goverment company as general contractor turn me to my situation today. Today i’m a jobleess man, turn back to my hometown with no Job. A Magister graduated as unemploye. Life never the same, sometimes we are in up and sometimes in the bottom, life changging like a cyrcle. Maybe we just really need it like when we pedaling our bycycle, our feet need to be in down and up so that bycycle can move. The same way as life tha should be up and down to be move on.

We are what we eat, what we hear and what we see, that all create us to be what are you today. I feeling that my chilhood book which i read really influenced my life. The book writed by a melayu man, a villager child who can reach his dream. I am as a malayu man can feel the book so deep inside. Those four books, i really read them all and really drowning into it. The Rainbow trops, The Dreamer, Edensor and the last Maryamah Karpov. Story of all these books are related one each other.  It’s true that we are the one who create our live how we want to be. Our live become like what we imagine our life will be come. That four book really influenced me and make my life become what that book really tell me how to become. Maybe everyone can get the message of the book differently, but this is what i got from my interpetasion and my imagination. The first book is Rainbow troops. The book which told me about a malayu man,  poor man, who love to study and want to reach his deream. A student who not the smartes, buat always looking around as a lesson. He is suround with a lot of uniq friends. His spirit about his big dream always flow in his blood. I remember that i used to join in competition between school in our city when i was elementary school. The same story in the rainbow troops book. We are not the winner, but the spirit still clearly in my head. We are thirth boy, just a student from poor family and small school in our village. Compare to other school and other student which rich and big. Later i meet two of my friend who join in the school competition with me in Elementry school when i turn back to my hometown. One of them married and  working in a university, one again married too and just selling traditional food in his parent old food busines. Every one has really different destiny. But compare to me right now. Unemploye with magister title and still a single. ahah Life is life, people has different destiny and choice for their life. Half of them are destiny and half again their choice to become what their life to be.

Second book Called The Dreamer, this is my favorite book during high school life. The book that motivate me to explore the world, to dream big as big as i can. This book descrip my life during in high school. Full of desire to conquer the world. To be an educate student, to be a student with a lot of achievement. I feel that I did a lot of achievement during my high school life like get a lot of scholarship to reach my dream to study outside my town. I got scholarship from mayor of my hometown, from an university to study until magister and another scholarship. I also join a lot of competition during that period and become a leader for some organisation too. This is the power of that book that influencing me a lot. When you imagine the strory were you and it become reality in your real life. Like i said early, Your life is what you imagine it will become. Because “God will be what his servant expects Him” (Al-Bukhari 6970).  The dreamer book is one of the book that send me to study outside my home town and come to Jakarta to reach my dream which biggger again to study Abroad like the book's story.

The third book call Edensor, This book also lead me too that finally i move from my hometown to study to reach my dream to Abroad. And it also inspiring me to have big desire to finish my study until Magister. I did make this dream become true. I finally studied in Depok and Jakarta and finish my magister degree. During my life in Depok, i can really feel what the writer feel when He move from his hometown to Jakarta to study in University of Indonesia. During his periode, maybe it’s so different, maybe at that time there is not a lot comunication tool like handphone and cheap transportation like plan to move to another city easy. That why i think the writer can be more serious about his study and finally reach his biggest dream to study abroad. Unfortunatly in my case where i still not reach all my dream yet to study abroad like story of Edensor book. I have a plan to study in Japan or somewhere in Europe and work there, but what i can say, unfortunatly i stilll can not achieve it yet. So many problem in life that i face when i living alone during work  time in Jakarta, a lot of thing happen. I just skip my story to the next book call Maryamah Karpov. But really deep inside, the desire to study abroad or work abroad is still burn my heart with a little fire on it that can grow and burn my body again when i find a way to reach it.   

Maryamah Karpov  actually a sad story, story which write by the author so deeply and i feel it really happen to me today. I feel right now that i really face my life as book Maryamah Karpov story told me. Story that tell a man who already finish his Magister study abroad and turn back to his home town with no job. today I am a magister studen in Engineering turn back to my home town with no Job. I have study a lot about Engineering until Magister in depok and Jakarta the same way the man in Maryamah Karpov which studied economic. We get Master title because we have good enought to call expert in our field. But in fact when we turn back to our home town, our knowledge not really usefull whaat we really imagine. We just turn to be jobless, unemploy man and just stay at home. Life is a life that full of secret. We really dont know what will happen next to our life cuz it’s one of God knowledge and God permition to happen to Us. I hope i really Find what i want to do in Life at my age that almost turn to 27 where people already find the way of their life and enough to be a Gentle man as human kind. Like the man in Maryamah Karpov book, finally he find what he really want to do in life and get what he really want to has, i hope I do too. I find the way of my life and to do what i really want to do. Something that i really wan to have. I hope this post become one of my memory that will stay forever. One day i can read this again to remind me about what happen to me in Life years in the past.

I want to finish this post with positif thought. Allah is the best planer to Our life. He know which Good for us and which bad for Us. Just Put all trust in him. He is the most knowing and the best planer in Life like oHis name are  Al Aliim (the most knowing) and Ar Rabb (The most Supreme Being) , I close this post with my favorite Surah Al-Baqarah chapter 2 verse 216 said “ Perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not” All what the destiny already happen to us which look bad is not always bad. When we can take the lesson from an incident that happened to us as a lesson to be better person. there is a lot of mening and sign in it. Maybe it can be our power to be strong and to be smart and wise in the future. Maybe something that we think is bad that actually good for us. Allah know everything the best, He is most knowing and we just dont know his good plan to us in the future. Subhanalla.........